KC Davis is a counselor and speaker who lives in Houston. In her book, How to Keep House While Drowning, Davis outlines practical and compassionate instructions on how to keep life running when you feel like you are flailing.
Reading this book felt like chatting with a smart older sister who has it all figured out. Someone who is gentle, compassionate, and efficient. She gives clever advice that literally makes life easier and more manageable. This is a short book. It is designed to be accessible and offers concrete solutions to everyday challenges, such as doing the dishes, or keeping up with hygeine when these simple tasks feel insurmountable.
To say that this book changed my life, is not hyperbole. I read "How to Keep House While Drowning," after having my daughter, and reread it when a surprise second baby arrived 18 months later and I found myself with two under two.
I adopted many of Davis's housekeeping strategies - For example, she introduces the five things tidying method - there are only five things in each room you must manage, trash, dishes, laundry, things that have a place, and things that do not have a place. When you break down a messy room into these five things, suddenly the chaos is not as overwhelming.
Davis speaks with kindness as she teaches gentle skill building, and addresses complicated issues, like division of labor in the household. Most importantly - this book taught me to treat myself and others with greater grace and empathy. Davis argues that care-tasks (her term for household chores) are neither good nor evil, right nor wrong and there are no rules when it comes to housekeeping. It is okay to make your own system, for example, I no longer put my kids' clothes away in each of their rooms separately, we moved all our dressers in the room next to the laundry room and we put everyone's clothes away at once.
There is no shame in cutting corners - Davis says, "Your space should serve you, you do not serve your space." I recommend "How to Keep House While Drowning," if you are, or ever have felt like you are drowning in the simple day to day tasks of being alive, for example, when a new baby arrives, when you suffer a loss, or when you or a loved one, are faced with a mental or physical health crisis.
I also recommend this book to those supporting someone who is struggling. How to keep house while drowning will teach you to be kinder and gentler with yourself and others. My husband and I listened to the audiobook together, and agreed, if people could be this kind to themselves and each other most of our problems would be solved."
Unfortunately, Davis has yet to design a system for keeping a car clean, so mine stays messy.